Welp, there goes Silent Hill. These wokies won’t stop until they’ve taken everything from us. After 30 years of enjoying the series from afar, I can’t believe what these developers are doing to this beloved IP. To think I was finally going to start playing Silent Hill. I was even thinking about purchasing a few of the games with my hard-earned money. This is the downfall of Silent Hill, and it’s called Silent Hill Townfall. 

First off, a Silent Hill not set in Silent Hill? Are these developers high? The game is called Silent Hill; therefore, it should be set in Silent Hill. No idea why they thought they could get away with this. Put the game in Silent Hill or call it something else. Jesus Christ. Who wants to go to Scotland? I don’t think the Scots want to be in Scotland. 

Also, what is the deal with the first person? This is a third-person horror game. Sure, Resident Evil did first person for a little bit, but Capcom had enough sense to give me the option to see my characters (not that I want to see the oversexualized Leon S. Kennedy, but that’s an argument for another guest column). Let me see my character, Konami.

Simon Ordell. I’m just going to come out and say it. Simon doesn’t look like me and that offends me. See, I need my video game characters to look just like me, cause if they don’t, I can’t relate to those characters and their arcs. It’s why I can play classics like Max Payne, Vice City, and every Call of Duty (not the one with the lady). It is my understanding that every Silent Hill game has a character facing trauma and depression. I don’t believe Simon can carry that torch that was once carried by great characters that I don’t need to name here (because you know them already). In 1996, what does a character like Simon have to be depressed about? The nineties were great, and hell, OJ was found not guilty. 

So, Konami, we’re at a crossroads. You can have your popular IP game, not set in the town it’s named after, in first person, and starring a character that the players don’t want. Or you could get your shit together and have a bestseller under your belt. The balls in your court. I’ll be watching the Steam charts with much anticipation.