The esteemed Secretary of Health and Human Services is known for many things such as looking like a walking corpse, quackery, and a taste for ‘roadside delicacies’. His taste for grille to grill cuisine begs the question: what Pokémon would he consider good eating? 

Teddiursa

Okay, it was actually the car in front of him that hit it, he swears. Yes, he did then pick it up and put it in his car with the intent to skin and eat it but without proper refrigeration, these things go bad. Better to just dump it at Central Park or the nearest Pokémon Center.

Snorlax

At nearly seven feet tall and 1100 pounds, Snorlax isn’t the easiest thing to transport. But you know damn well if RFK Jr managed to kill one with his car, he’d find some way to take it home. He might need a dedicated freezer for all of that meat though.

Wailord

Kind of the same problem as Snorlax, but what a prize. He’d have to cut the head off and strap it to the top of his car though. I’m sure the people behind him on the highway won’t mind.

Zigzagoon

A smaller source of Rocky Mountain Oysters and probably some stringy meat, but he’d choke it down just so he could turn the coat into a goonskin hat.

Pikachu

They’re fast, so you might have to go offroad to hit them, but according to the HHS Secretary, Pikachus are a good source of electrolytes. 

Chansey

He’ll have to do something with all of those Chanseys after he fires all of the Nurse Joys, and this Pokémon is meat and eggs in one. Win-win.

Vanillite

Gotta stop somewhere for dessert.

Meowth

Just kidding. That man has never eaten pussy in his life.

Wurmple

A worm ate RFK Jr’s brain, so he’s going to eat a worm’s brain right back.Would that technically give him his first braincell? Food for thought.

Trubbish

Let’s be honest, RFK Jr. is not above cannibalism.