Hey idiot. Yeah, you, reading this. Guess what? I think all the stuff you like sucks. That game you enjoyed as a kid. It sucks. That movie you saw last weekend. It sucks. Your favorite food. It sucks. That shirt you’re wearing right now. An affront to fashion. Everything you hold dear is crap. Why do I think this? Because we need the clicks. Clicks mean cash and we need cash.

I don’t know if you know this, but the internet is dying. Google search is useless; media literacy is at an all-time low and most people online are bots from Russia. If you run a website in this day and age, you got to do whatever it takes to get the last remaining real people online to click on your site. The only way to do that is to insult their taste. It’s the only way to guarantee a click. Nobody clicks on things anymore unless they have a reason to be mad. Admit it. You wouldn’t have clicked this if it were about how rainbows are pretty. You don’t care about that. You want someone to be mad at. You want something that you can angrily dunk on in a quote post and get five likes for. That will fulfill your dopamine hit for the hour, won’t it, you dweeb?

So, fuck you and your terrible taste. Stop liking things that suck. Anything I don’t like objectively sucks and if you like those things, it makes you an idiot. Why would you want to be an idiot? Get better taste, dumbass. The only thing you have good taste in is the websites you visit when you fall for clickbait. But only when that is this website. Any other clickbait articles you click on suck, just like everything else you enjoy. You simpleton. You heathen. You uncultured swine.

Thanks for the site traffic.