BOISE, Idaho — During a special Star Fox Direct today, Nintendo has revealed some shocking news about the main character of the sci-fi franchise: Fox McCloud is just a guy in a fursuit from Boise named Dave. 

Dave and Shigeru Miyamoto announced the self-titled Star Fox game for the Nintendo Switch 2 while confirming this new piece of lore.

“Dave has always been a little shy,” said Miyamoto. “He is essential to the Star Fox legacy. He has been there since the start. We want to give the furry community the proper care and respect. I always thought they only existed for sucking and fucking each other. I created Donkey Kong initially to satisfy a personal kink. Dave has been a great consultant to show me what furries and anthropomorphic characters can mean to millions around the world. The new USB camera avatar function in the new game will allow users to become the furry they always wanted to be.”

Dave Fitzgerald spoke out about what gave him the courage to finally remove the fursuit.

“When consulting on how to implement furry elements into the Super Mario Galaxy Movie I realized we are in a much different era than we were in the 1990s,” said Dave. “I have seen Star Fox and the beloved cast of annoying characters become icons. I am proud of donning the fursona of Fox McCloud. I identify with him more than I do Dave Fitzgerald, associate manager of a Wells Fargo branch. I hope that the other furries in our Star Fox team have the courage to come out as well. I want to know who Peppy is under the mask and buy him a beer for teaching me how to do a barrel roll.”

Star Fox villain Andross is delighted by the unmasking.

“Mwhahahaha,” said Andross. “I will use this knowledge to take over the Lylat system. Star Fox has been a thorn in my side for years and knowing that he is just a human guy will allow me to adapt my strategy. Instead of just sending drones to hold position in front of the Arwings and shoot blindly I can figure out how humans can be defeated. Do humans eat food? Are they just as easily able to defeat Star Wolf in combat? All I know is that they have been yelling about there not being a good Star Fox games in decades.”

At press time, the Slippy the Frog has posted a countdown getting ready for a face reveal. Many fans on Instagram believe that the shrill companion from the series is actually Kevin Hart.