CAELID – At the recent Radahn Festival every Tarnished brought their own dish to be shared as part of the feast. One dish went untouched: the Loathsome Dung Eater’s gumbo. The event meal prep organizer, Iron Jar Alexander, understands why.

“I’m a giant jar that contains corpses that get brought around The Land Between and even I think the Dung Eater smells unbearable,” said Alexander. “Patches is trying to pass off some McDonald’s Big Macs as if they made them himself but at least they look edible. The gumbo is making hissing noises. I asked the Dung Eater where he got the recipe and he just did a point down gesture three times. He is not to be trusted and I am livid that the Tarnished named JohnEldenRing67 let him out of his stinky cell.”

Other participants at the potluck and festival are livid too.

“I mean, come on he’s called the Dung Eater,” said Blaidd, the Blade of Ranni and an attendee of the event. “I brought a shepherd’s pie and I am a half-wolf man and no one accused me of putting a shepherd in my dish. This is an event celebrating the great Radahn before we put him down like a sick dog. We do not want to be sick going into combat. I think I heard the gumbo scream at me. I took a whiff of it and my endurance stat fell.”

The Loathsome Dung Eater was evasive when asked what exactly is in his mysterious gumbo.

“I can kill you and defile your corpse,” said The Loathsome Dung Eater, “However, my gumbo will not kill you right away. The main ingredient is a seedbed curse, but most people are walking away when I tell them the secret ingredient is cilantro. The other parts and their portions, I found while defiling across the land. You want to know what’s in it? Have a taste. Your children will be born cursed along with their children, and their children’s children, for all time to come. It’s no different than eating an O-M-Cheese Burger from Applebee’s.”

At press time, the Loathsome Dung Eater’s gumbo’s effects have mostly been nausea for me. The horns that are sprouting over my body are giving me some concern. It mostly tasted like burnt tires and chipotle. I’d give it a 3/10.