WASHINGTON — As part of a new effort to appeal to voters ahead of the upcoming midterms, the Democrats have released a Doom mod that allows the player to respectfully disagree and compromise with the demons.

“We’re thrilled to have distilled everything the modern Democrats stand for into an experience that’s both fun and challenging to play!” announced DNC chair Ken Martin. “Just like in regular Doom, our mod has you alone and surrounded by the ravenous hordes of Hell. Make no mistake, the other side wants you dead, and they won’t rest until you are. But the problem with the original is they were too quick to violence. Sure, some of the demons are a little extreme, a little too pro-killing-you, but if Doomguy’s too vocal about his own radical anti-getting-killed agenda, he’s going to alienate the more moderate demons who just want to pepper him with their shotguns a little.”

While enemy behavior remains unchanged, all of the game’s familiar weapons have been replaced with a new, more electable arsenal. 

“The shotgun is now a phone that lets you post sarcastic tweets,” explained House minority leader Hakeem Jeffries. “The chaingun will allow you to rapidly fire fundraising requests. The rocket launcher shoots out piles of money, so you can fund better training for the demons. But my favorite is what we did for the BFG9000. You get your hands on that bad boy, and you’ll issue a formal statement that, while the demons are right to invade Phobos, they should have sought Congressional approval before doing so. None of these new weapons will actually stop the demons from attacking you, but they communicate solid common-sense policy plans that will hopefully reduce demonic influence by this time next year.”

In addition to its gameplay changes, DoomedDemocracy.WAD will also introduce a new version of Doom’s story. 

“I never liked that ending cutscene, where it turns out the demons have killed Doomguy’s pet rabbit Daisy,” said California Governor Gavin Newsom. “The survival of rabbits simply isn’t a high priority for the average American. In fact, we looked into it, and it turns out rabbits can’t even vote! Why are we wasting energy caring about such a niche issue? We’ve changed the ending so Doomguy kills the rabbit himself. You might think he’s acting just like the demons were, but he’ll be much better for the economy.”

At press time, Democrats have announced the mod would include megaspheres that, in the spirit of compromise, only raise health and armor to 50%.