NEW YORK – In a bid to adapt to shifting markets, drug dealers have announced a slew of new payment options, including RAM sticks.

“It’s a dog eat dog world out there,” said local drug kingpin Jimmy Severs. “Whether it’s the looming threat of global war, or the fact that some prick wants to destroy the labor market because he’s too lazy to read his kid a bedtime story, people need distractions. And without money, we’re now accepting new purchasing options, like cryptocurrency and RAM sticks.”

The news has proven divisive among the drug community, with some anticipating a shortage, and others excited to make use of the opportunity. 

“This is the greatest day of my life,” announced scalper and future wife beater Logan Paul, sitting atop a throne of 32GB Kingston. “Turns out data centers are just stealing these directly from the source, and ‘upstanding citizens’ don’t wanna pay my rates, but so long as I can get my hourly fix of methamphetamine, life is good.”

The decision for local drug dealers to accept RAM sticks has led to intense debate surrounding the rising cost of PC parts, and the role AI companies have played.

“Computer components have always been a speculative market,” said Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang. “Quite frankly, it’s dangerous to leave them in the hands of plebs. They might use them to play violent video games, or learn new skills to propel them from the minimum wage slave dens we’ve tried to lock them in.”

At press time, Jensen Huang was beaten and robbed of hundreds of RAM sticks.