HYRULE — King of the Gerudo, Ganondorf, has officially declared that Lake Hylia will now be known as Lake Gerudo effective immediately.

The Demon King stated in a press conference that all the paperwork is signed and the new name is official.

“Hyrule. Nasty people. Such a nasty people. They don’t deserve a lake. They’ve been ripping us off for a long time. They refuse to give me the Triforce so I can attain godhood and enslave all living things. Shame on them. So the lake is now Lake Gerudo. Much better name. Such a beautiful name. Now all we need is an ocean.”

King Rhoam of Hyrule responded to the move in a speech to his people.

“The fact is, even if Ganondorf had the authority to change the name, no one would call it that. He’s a laughing stock. If the people of Gerudo Valley want to call it that, more power to them but in Hyrule and everywhere else in this land it will still be known as Lake Hylia. Perhaps the King of the Gerudo should be a little more concerned with the harsh environmental and political problems facing his own people and a little less concerned with these ridiculous stunts. He can try all he wants but we all know he got beat up by a child. He’s a loser and nothing will change that.”

While most people’s reaction echoed the King’s, some are fully on board with Ganondorf’s latest action.

“This is why he’s the man,” stated an enthusiastic bokoblin. “He’s making lakes great again. Serves those awful Hylians right. If they don’t want to play ball with the greatest leader of all time then this is what they get. You get your lake’s name changed in a very narrow geographic radius that no one else will adhere to. Take that suckers!”

At press time, as Ganondorf sets his sight on a 17 year old twink, rising prices and supply scarcity in Gerudo Valley has led to many of his subjects becoming thieves just to survive.