TOKYO, JAPAN — Following controversial legislation in the UK to outlaw “step pornography”, a popular hentai game has responded by adding a “UK Government” difficulty mode to their game, Busty Bashers.

“We stand with the suffering people of the United Kingdom,” CEO of Hardy Studios, Allie Ember, said at a press conference. “Let’s face it, they’re not going to stop here. How long until they outlaw cottaging? How long until they ban Greggs’ cream pies? We say no more!”

Busty Bashers (2026) places you in the role of a well-endowed warrior sent to defeat promiscuous clones through the use of magic, mecha, and making out. Initially sales were slow, but the game quickly gained popularity after being featured in various strip clubs. The mechanics of the “UK Government” mode was explained by the devs.

“Obviously if you show so much as an ankle, government forces spawn in and immediately beat the shit out of you,” explained lead developer Sacha Ditters. “Any attempt to kiss someone who isn’t a straight male bans you from using all in-game shops. Oh, and you’ll be periodically stopped and asked if you have a license to longingly gaze at attractive, consenting individuals.”

The update to Busty Bashers has resulted in condemnation across the political isles, from rightwing to far-right, culminating in a heated six-hour debate in the House of Commons. 

“This has been blown completely out of proportion,” said Prime Minister Keir Starmer while stuffing a trans child into a woodchipper. “Yes, we’re cracking down on more ‘concerning’ genres of pornography, but only because we can’t allow the public at large to develop any kind of healthy relationship with sex. We need to drive it underground before the poors start getting notions that they own their bodies.”

At press time, Keir Starmer confirmed that anyone owning a copy of Busty Bashers would be charged under the Terrorism Act.