CHICAGO — Tim Greiver, A local accountant, and casual gamer who plays one hour of video games per week, is looking for new hobbies and is considering getting into mass shootings on a casual basis. Griever, who loves Call of Duty, confirmed his desire to set aside the joysticks and pick up an assault rifle, during the latest watercooler chat at his workplace, Harris & Associates CPA.

“It just looks like a lot of fun,” Griever said to a group of coworkers, some of whom laughed uncomfortably before leaving the conversation. “I am always worried about the roadblocks when starting a new hobby, but this seems like one of those things anyone can just get in and go. If it is anything like Black Ops, all you’ve got to do is point and shoot, right?”

Griever’s excitement for his new hobby sent the workers of Harris & Associates CPA into a panic. Griever quickly responded to the concerns of his manic colleagues.

“Guys, chill. This is just a weekend hobby. I know how to keep my work and my fun separated,” Griever said before promising not to involve any of his coworkers in his new hobby, unless they really wanted to give it a try. “I don’t even know how serious I’m going to get about it. I am not doing any of that manifesto stuff. I don’t have a message. I just want to shoot four or more normal people a few times. I’m not gonna do anything crazy, like shoot at the President.”

Some have doubts about Griever’s interest in mass shootings. One such disparager is Marc Matthews, Griever’s former college roommate, and current coworker at Harris & Associates CPA.

“Tim is going to give up on this hobby as soon as he has trouble getting a gun,” Matthews said in line for the printer. “In college, Tim would talk about all these things he wanted to do, like improv, club volleyball, or getting into the Yu-gi-oh trading card game. An hour later all those plans would be out the door after some minor inconvenience halted his progress. I promise by lunch he’ll be into something new, like gardening or learning Japanese on Duolingo.”

At press time, Griever was wandering around the office asking his coworkers if they wanted to co-host a podcast he was thinking about starting.