MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Following a 14 day cruise from Yoshi’s Island, the Daisy Cruiser has now been shut down due to a norovirus outbreak, reports from the Virus Research Division at the Mushroom Kingdom Hospital confirm. 

“We have exhausted all options attempting to treat 252 passengers and 35 crew members currently displaying symptoms of norovirus,” head researcher at the Mushroom Kingdom hospital, Dr. Mario, said at a press conference. “Usually all I have to do is line up three megavitamins in a row that match the same color as the virus and then boom virus cured but that didn’t do shit when I tried it with this norovirus. I have no idea what to do. I’m not even a real doctor; I bought my degree from a Kamek item shop for 10 coins. I do not possess the necessary medical knowledge to handle this situation.” 

Toadsworth, who was one of the passengers that contracted the virus while onboard, recounted his experience.

“I remember eating what I thought was fully cooked cheep cheep from the buffet and then everything hitting me a day later,” Toadsworth explained while laying in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV. “It was……everywhere. I just couldn’t stop shitting myself. It was the worst experience of my life, and that’s coming from a guy who regularly wears a diaper. I’m pretty much always shitting myself. At any time, there’s like a 90% chance I’m shitting myself and yet that still doesn’t compare to the hell I went through on that boat.”

Princess Daisy, owner and operator of the Daisy Cruiser, says that these kinds of outbreaks are rare and hopes that her ship can be cleared for sailing again soon. 

“I just want to reassure future guests of the Daisy cruiser that we have taken the necessary cleaning precautions to ensure that the ship is properly disinfected,” Daisy said right after kicking a banana peel underneath a sun chair. “Obviously, I wish everyone who got norovirus a speedy recovery, but I don’t think I would be doing my job if I didn’t ask how we know for sure that some of our guests didn’t just get motion sickness from the moving tables in the dining room. You pair that with sea sickness, and I think it would be pretty easy to mistake it for norovirus. But again, speedy recovery. Also, please don’t let this influence your decision to book a cruise with Princess Peach’s cruise ship, The Princess Peach, instead.”

At press time, Princess Peach’s cruise ship, The Princess Peach, was placed under quarantine due to a whooping cough outbreak.