EMERY, Calif. – LeapFrog Enterprise is branching into the adult market, with a new LeapPad for adults struggling with media literacy. CEO of LeapFrog Enterprises, John Barbour, confirmed the LeapPad: Media Literacy Edition during an earnings call earlier this week.

“People are really fucking stupid,” Barbour said during the video call while counting a ceiling-high stack of money. “They don’t read anymore, and when they do read, they have no idea what the fuck they just read. With that in mind, we took the latest LeapPad we were going to make for kids and shifted our focus on the adult market. That’s right, we’re moving away from making products for kids. Not like they have time for learning anyway, between their island escapades and dodging this week’s school shooter.”

Barbour then went into detail about how the new LeadPad for adults will save the world.

“Mouth breathers can now scan something that may be confusing them and the LeapPad will respond with how they should feel about that thing,” Barbour said as a demonstration played out on screen in which someone scanned a McDonald’s ad and the LeapPad simply responded, ‘FOOD.’ “We’re also testing it on arguments by feeding it billions of Tweets from the site formerly known as Twitter. With this LeapPad, we are changing the ways people engage with everything and helping them understand their surroundings better. With less time spent on thinking, we think we’ll create a kinder, more peaceful world.”

Members of the LeapFrog Enterprise Board voiced some confusion over the new direction of the company.

“Wait, I’m confused,” said Red Franks, a long-time member of the board. “I’m sorry I was on my phone the entire time, watching TikToks. I heard the part about making a LeapPad for adults. I guess I just don’t understand why we’re doing that. It’s just a bit confusing to me. Could we rewind this meeting back like five minutes and just start from the top? I promise I’ll pay attention this time.”

At press time Barbour had restarted the presentation four additional times, due to distracted Board Members.