After a rough couple of console generations Microsoft is hoping it can finally turn its fortunes around in the gaming space. Spearheading that is the new XBOX CEO ASHA SHARMA. The GG Tribune was fortunate enough to sit down with ASHA and gain insight into her plans for the struggling brand.

GG Tribune: So how did this come about? Were you always geared up to replace Phil Spencer?
ASHA SHARMA: I BRIBED HIM WITH A COLLECTION OF GRAPHIC TEES TO GIVE ME THE JOB.

Do you mind keeping your voice down just a little bit?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, THIS IS MY INDOOR VOICE.

Your first act as CEO was to change the logo to be green. Walk us through that decision.
XBOX IS GREEN. IF THE LOGO ISN’T GREEN HOW WILL PEOPLE KNOW IT’S XBOX?

You also changed the branding to be in all caps. What does that convey to gamers?
I DON’T UNDERSTAND, IT LOOKS THE SAME TO ME. 

There was some controversy when you took over. Many people expected Sarah Bond to become CEO. What happened there?
WE HAD HER KILLED AND SIPHONED HER CONSCIOUSNESS TO BE PART OF THE COPILOT COLLECTIVE. SHE IS AN XBOX NOW.

Xbox has had a challenging decade to say the least. What do you think is the brand’s biggest strength?
WE HAVE HALO. NO ONE ELSE HAS HALO. EVERYONE LOVES HALO. HALO IS THE SHIT.

Actually Halos popularity has waned in recent years and you guys are also releasing it on PS5 later this year.
WE ARE? FUCK.

As CEO what do you plan to do to bring Xbox back into competition with Sony and Nintendo?
WE’RE BRINGING IT BACK TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS. 360 PEAK BABY. GREY AND BROWN MULTIPLAYER SHOOTERS WITH TOXIC LOBBIES. WE’LL BE WHERE THE COOL KIDS PLAY. SENSITIVE PUSSIES ON PS5 CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT.

Will you bring back the 360 blades?
SURE WHY NOT, I AIN’T AFRAID TO CUT A BITCH. I’M COMING FOR YOU MIYAMOTO.

With all the ground Xbox has lost over the years, is Microsoft concerned about money wasted?
THEY WERE BUT NOW WE JUST TURN UNSOLD SERIES X’S INTO BOMBS THAT WE SELL TO THE IDF.

Before becoming Xbox CEO you were head of Microsoft’s AI division, while you have stated you will keep AI out of Xbox, some gamers are still concerned. Do you have anything to say to ease worries?
DID I SAY THAT?

You did.
I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION.

You did say it though. Do you stand by it?
XBOX IS GOING PLACES. WE’RE GOING TO REACH THE NEXT STRATOSPHERE. MORE BACKWARDS COMPATIBLE GAMES. GREEN LOGO. WE’RE COOKING.

And no AI?
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW LOGO? IT’S A NEW BEGINING. XBOX.

Hollywood is on a video game craze at the moment. Do you plan on having any Xbox properties given proper film or television treatment?
WE ARE IN ACTIVE DISCUSSIONS WITH UWE BOLL ABOUT A NUMBER OF PROPERTIES.

Xbox owns a lot of IP that have laid dormant for quite a while, especially after the seven billion dollar Activision acquisition do–-
WAIT WHAT? PHIL TOLD US HE ONLY PAID SEVEN MILLION. MR NADELLA IS GONNA BE SO PISSED.

So do you plan on doing anything with those dormant IPs? Fans would love to see more entries in series like Spyro, Crash Bandicoot, and Banjo Kazooie.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE SO I’M GONNA SAY NO.

It would make fans happy though.
THE LOGO IS GREEN NOW, WHAT MORE COULD THEY WANT?