HAMELIN, Germany — As the increasing demand for AI data centers continues to skyrocket, many sectors in the entertainment industry are feeling the knock-on effects, with consoles and PC components seeing significant price rises. One area in particular has been hit especially, and surprisingly, hard: charming wooden toys carved by elderly German men.

Johannes Aschenborn, an elderly German man who spends his days carving small, wooden doodads to delight local children, said that the RAM shortage had strongly affected his work.

“My livelihood is in danger.” Aschenborn said in a YouTube statement issued from his charming workshop, lit entirely by candlelight and smelling faintly of wood, cinnamon, and hope. “Take, for example, this delightful wooden duck. See how smoothly its wheels turn, and how its cheerful, painted beak opens and closes as you pull it along. I used to sell this for just one euro, and I was happy to. Now, thanks to the RAM shortage, I can’t let it go for less than seven hundred dollars. Twice that if you want it to quack.”

Dr Stephen Playgroup, leading researcher at the Economic Institute for Institutional Economics, commented on the video, attempting to analyze the phenomenon.

“It makes no sense,” the exasperated economist posted, “He’s using the same tools he’s always used, the same techniques he’s been using for the last 60 years, and all his wood is locally sourced by a kindly lumberjack whose wife brings Aschenborn a bowl of stew every Sunday. But somehow the insatiable hunger of a bunch of Silicon Valley dorks for their AI chatbots and non-consensual nude machines have made this humble German craftsman’s running costs skyrocket.”

Not all comments on Aschenborn’s video were supportive, however, with users such as NFTmemeLORD69 having little time for the craftsman’s plight.

“Lol why would u carve a duck when you can get chatgpt to show u a picture of one, dumbass??”, the user posted, linking to an AI-generated image of a wooden duck with two beaks and a gun.

At press time, it has also been reported that the RAM shortage has caused the irreplaceable joy of a baby’s laughter in a sunbeam to now cost a thousand dollars a chuckle.