Our client’s patented Nintendo Dreamcatcher™️  has detected a broadcast of brain frequencies containing an unlicensed mental conjecture of Mario in your mind. Nintendo takes these violations of intellectual property seriously in keeping with its storied tradition of suing anyone not sharing Nintendo’s vision.

As you are well aware, Mario is the intellectual property of Nintendo. Nintendo’s intellectual property is sacred, and our client does not allow individuals like yourself to tarnish our property with your daydreams, no matter how innocent they are. Simply allowing our characters to exist in an unapproved mind poses an existential risk to how they’re perceived.

It brings Nintendo great joy to watch their enthusiastic consumers spend countless hours using their minds to bring out their creativity, only for us to step in and crush their will to create. Nintendo’s intellectual property is only allowed to be used by obtaining a subscription to their exclusive Nintendo RMM (Rapid Mario Movement) phase™️ package, which is free and unlimited for Nintendo employees.

If our client allowed everyone to use Mario and our other intellectual property, it would make it hard for our client to tell their copyright protected stories. You are welcome to join our client in shaping their characters’ stories at careers.nintendo.com, but rest assured their AI filters have already deemed you inadequate to apply for this role on account of your daydream.

Our client thanks you for being a loyal fan! We hope this does not discourage you from playing their games, and using their services. It is with great regret that we hereby formally demand that you immediately cease and desist from thinking about our client’s intellectual property without explicit permission or adequate subscription model. Failure to comply with this notice will leave us no choice but to force you to spend the rest of your days watching Super Mario Bros (1993) on repeat.