CHESAPEAKE, VA — Local PC gamer Richard Chelmsford was distraught after learning his aging computer was near the end of its life, sources confirmed.

“I knew it had to happen eventually,” said the despondent Chelmsford, watching as the desktop shut down again while attempting to run Europa Universalis V. “You’re supposed to outlive them. It’s what you sign up for when you become a computer owner. But that doesn’t make it any easier when it happens, you know? I still remember when she was a baby, just assembled, how we would play Tribes: Ascend together,” he explained as he lovingly stroked the computer’s case. “RichardsPC, that’s what I named her … she really became part of the family after a while. I’m sorry, I need a moment.”

While Chelmsford’s friends have expressed annoyance at his recent grief, professionals view his attitude as normal behavior. 

“I help owners through this process all the time, and even then, I know it’s not easy,” explained local computer repairman Luke Park. “People bring their loved ones to me and beg me to fix whatever’s wrong with them. And I try. God knows I always try. But sometimes I have no choice but to wipe the tears from my eyes and tell them ‘It’s going to die. All you can do is make it comfortable in its final moments. By the way, if you enroll in our monthly subscription service, you can repair up to five devices at a discount.’”

As he waits for the end, Chelmsford has taken this professional advice as best as he can.

“She never liked the heat. That’s where the trouble started when she began overheating. I’m going to give her a bath in a giant tub of thermal paste. The kind of pampering computers can only dream of. And I’m going to feed her her favorite RAM sticks. And then, once I’m sure she’ll only be going out with happy memories … I’m going to hold down the power button. God…” he said, biting down on his finger. “I’m not ready. I don’t want to lose her. New PCs are crazy expensive.”

At press time, Chelmsford was briefly distracted from his grief when his dog, which he hates, urinated inside the house.