KANTO — Tensions are high in Pokopia as its Pokémon citizens are being rounded up to be sent to an Arby’s abattoir to address the company’s concerns about the rising cost of meat. 

Residents consider it to be a violation of their liberties to be sent away to be ground up into food that resembles roast beef.

“We have worked hard to build up a peaceful community,” said Professor Tangrowth. “This is our home. Chef Dente has proven that you can have a diet with a wide variety of options with just beans and leaves. It’s cruel to imagine anyone eating Arby’s. Even if it isn’t being made from Pokémon flesh. So this is just an insult.”

Arby’s spokesperson Sherry Hunter explained in a statement that capturing Pokémon is a no-brainer for helping the company’s bottom line.

“At Arby’s we believe in creative solutions,” said Hunter. “We want to save the consumer money and we do not want to raise the price of the value menu so eating a Pikachu or a Squirtle in your sandwich was an easy fix to keep money in the pocket of the customers. We are even going to call it our “Pocket Monster Savings” event when we officially process all this wonderful meat next month. The customers won’t be able to taste the difference between a Geodude and our traditional roast beef. That’s the Arby’s promise.”

While there are some health concerns about spillover infections from poison types as well as doubt that Pokémon meat has any nutritional value at all, United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. assured Americans that there is nothing to worry about.

“I’ve been eating Charmanders ever since Pokémon made their presence known,” said Kennedy. “Any disease you can possibly get from Pokémon will be easily treatable with an all-meat diet. Pokémon meat counts as red meat even if they’re one of the fish type Pokémon. Rounding up Pokémon is part of our way to tell Americans that the war on protein is over. We have bigger wars to deal with now. I’ve always wondered what a Digimon tastes like. I think Arby’s raiding Pokopia is the right step for a healthier tomorrow. If anyone says Pokémon are intelligent beings then I would encourage them to try an Arby’s Big Beef ‘n Cheddar made with real Totodile meat with a milkshake made of blended Togepi.”

At press time, Arby’s stock has increased by 0.3% and the land value of Pokopia has become desirable for future Pokémon factory farm operations.