LEEDS, United Kingdom — Divisions among queer Pokémon fans erupted today, after a self-proclaimed ally released a video defending his use of the move “Attract”. 

“It’s a good move,” said Vaporeon fan Spencer Stray. “Sure, there’s some homophobic undertones, but it’s not about how gay it is. It’s about winning the fight, no matter what you have to use. When I become the champion of the Pokémon League, I can legislate changes to the move, but until then, we’re stuck with it.”

Attract allows the user to make the target “fall in love with them”, potentially causing them to skip their turn, so long as the target is the opposite gender of the user. Naturally, this raises the unfortunate possibility that gay Pokémon simply do not exist.

“He’s entirely wrong,” said professional Pokémon player and infamously bad singer Wolfe Glick. “About the willingness to sweep homophobia under the rug, sure, but also about how good the move is. Only a 50% chance to stop the target from attacking? Entirely dependent on the gender composition of both you and your opponent’s teams? Attract sucks. The biggest insult to the LGBTQ+ community here is even thinking they need the straight’s lack of rizz.”

The escalating drama surrounding the situation has prompted a rare response from Nintendo themselves. 

“We believe in a world where people are free to catch whoever they please,” said Nintendo spokesperson Ape Paulie. “So long as those people aren’t demonstrating their love through unauthorized use of our IPs. Unless you happen to be an American-sponsored terrorist group operating in their home country, in which case, do what you want.”

At press time, Spencer Stray admitted his own Attract attempts failed 100% of the time.