MONTREAL – In an off-the-cuff interview with GG tribune, Hades, God of the underworld, revealed the existence of a tenth circle of hell and confirmed that it is just Valnet.

“I was struggling with where to put a few c-suite heathens,” Hades said, pulling out a diagram of the underworld. “These monsters had forced young journalists to write list after non-sensical list. All in the name of SEO and driving clicks. I could have easily placed them in the greed circle, but then I thought about it and they could easily have also been placed in gluttony, fraud, or treachery. I pondered for many lifetimes, before finally deciding to open a new circle in 2012. Thus, Valnet was born.”

A staunch supporter of the written word, Hades is more than happy to open the tenth circle to anyone who makes trouble for young journalists.

“I think it’s obvious I love the written word, I mean, I did let Dante write about his trip through my realm,” Hades said, before sharing that he wasn’t a fan of the poem’s title. “It saddens me that these c-suite heathens are able to trick young journalists deep into their circle. Yet, a young writer has to get their foot in somewhere. They can’t help that they’re forced to write these Valnet lists. It’s not their fault their careers are just starting as everything falls apart around them. Anyone shaming these writers is more than welcome to join them in their eternal suffering in the tenth circle.”

Valnet Co-founder, Hassan Youssef, isn’t too happy with Hade’s revelation. 

“Why am I being punished for working hard and making a name for myself,” Youssef said before buying another website. “These sites are dying. I’m just coming in and draining what little life they have left from them. And who doesn’t like a list? Come on. You love reading lists. I know you do, it’s all you click, you little list reading pig. Go on, read another list. Click away, piggy.”

At press time, you returned to this tab after reading multiple lists on Valnet-owned subsidiary sites.