WASHINGTON — On a podcast appearance over the weekend, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revealed that he was the inspiration for the iconic Neversoft eyeball logo. 

“I used to hang around Hollywood gatherings in the 90s, and I had this party trick I’d do, it’d really draw a crowd,” said RFK Jr. on episode 12673842 of ‘The Joe Rogan Experience.’ “I used to be able to pop my eyeball out, put it down on a table, and make it do little tricks. It was really entertaining stuff.”

Kennedy Jr. explained that he never personally met the soon-to-be founders of Neversoft, but after booting up Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 on the PS2 a few years later, the production card logo was undeniably his eyeball. 

“I never got residuals or anything like that, they denied any copyright infringement, and I could never find a lawyer who would listen to my case,” he said in between gulps of methylene blue. “I wish I could show you now, it’s the spitting image of my disembodied left eye, but after yanking it out too many times and placing it down on cocaine dusted surfaces, it no longer squirms around like it used to.” 

A viral clip of the podcast has spread throughout the internet, prompting Neversoft – which is now a subsidiary of Activision that mostly works on blood splatter graphics in Call of Duty games – to make a statement. 

“While Mr. Kennedy Jr’s eyeball does have similarities to our company’s logo, upon further inspection, you will see that his eyeball is far more bloodshot, veiny, and covered in an indiscriminate opaque slime that is not present in the logo we have trademarked,” said the Neversoft account in a statement on X. 

At press time, the Trump administration has begun conducting plans for an all-out war against Activision until RFK Jr. is rightfully compensated.