LOS ANGELES — Max Dupri, a local looksmaxxing influencer known online as MaxiMaxx, is facing an existential crisis after he repeatedly smashed a hammer on his face in order to become more beautiful only to then learn all he needed to do was remove his glasses. 

“I really can’t believe it. My whole life is a lie,” Dupri said, fighting back tears to appear more masculine on a recent livestream. “It’s all about looks. Everyone knows that. Women only want men who are as chiseled and perfect as possible. That’s all that matters. I’m not vain enough to believe I have no deficiencies. That’s why I, like a man, bore the pain and just smashed my face with that hammer. Over and over and over again until all the little bone fragments were nothing but mush that my body would build into a more refined, masculine, sexy face. Then while recovering in the hospital I was watching some movie and it turns out all I had to do to become more beautiful was take my glasses off.”

Dupri’s followers, all single males between the ages of 12 and 25, all virgins, tried to console him.

“The glasses trick only works on females. They have to take shortcuts like that because they can’t put in the real work,” wrote user MuffDiving42069 from the computer in his mother’s basement. Don’t feel bad bro. You look incredibly sexy. Anyone would consider themselves lucky to sleep with you. Such a manly man. Only weak sissies would simply take their glasses off instead of actually improving themselves.”

Other influencers and content creators, also all male, gave words of encouragement to Dupri.

“Think of it this way, once you’re all healed you’ll be a near perfect sexual specimen,” tweeted Andrew Tate. “You’ll have the benefits of smashing your face in with a hammer and the benefits of taking off your glasses. You will be the ultimate sexual being. More sexy than any woman could ever dream of being. That’s not me being gay, that’s just a scientific fact. You’ll be the most fuckable human to ever walk the Earth. I’m hard just thinking about you. Again, I’m not being gay, just using science.

At press time, Dupri is reportedly trying to wrap his head around the concept of a personality after asking his nurse, the first woman he’s talked to in years, what she found attractive.